Thank you for taking the time to view my website, my name is Joshuah (Josh for short). I have been investing my father’s small fortune in a state-of-the-art underground bunker…Yup it’s true! Can’t tell you the location…well I could but, then I’d be forced to shoot you…Lol
Whilst construction is still on-going the expected completion date is July 2020, these website hosting servers provide the ultimate in esoteric performance employing dedicated ultra-fast solid state hard drives and teraflops of random access memory (RAM).
Your website will be backed-up on a minute by minute basis across shared platform ensuring zero downtime should a cyber attack occur. We guarantee to restore your site within 1hr should you request it.
WordPress websites are also treated the same as e-commerce, again sitting on our ultra-fast systems, regardless of your traffic surge, we assure you your site shall continue to fully load within .003 per second.
Our unique hardware is self-maintaining and therefore can never crash, our super clean atmosphere is created by our own dedicated recycled air purifying equipment, the power supply is backed up twenty-two times, yes we have that much space!
For the ultimate catastrophy solution our systems are backed up by valve based components, thus should a thermal nuclear war take out all microprocessors your site will still be alive and kicking.
All in all our premium service and hardware is vastly superior to anything else out there.